Guest Post: A Non-Bloggers Post on Holiday Cheer

So, I'm not a blogger. I've thought many times about starting a blog but have decided time and time again that I don't want the hassle. They are beautiful and inspirational when well done, but they take a LOT of work if done well (and I'm the type-if I do something, I want to do it WELL.)

A thank you to Rachal for allowing me to guest post on her blog-it's an honor for me to be able to share a bit of my heart with you. As a little intro, I am a stay-at-home farmer's wife, homeschooling Momma, and entrepreneur (think, as a child, I used to sell beads in our stairwell). I currently am rebuilding an Etsy shop after an extended leave (difficult pregnancy) and also do flowers for weddings and special events.

So. Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas is about a month from now. As a mother (or an adult who has even a mild affection for any human being in this world) holidays in general can be overwhelmingly stressful.

For the last three years this time of year for us has been broken bones, ER visits, and never-ending sickness. It's hard to feel merry when you're on the couch with your head in a bucket. Or holding the hurting body of a small child waiting to see a doctor in the ER. Or driving to the hospital with your sick kids in the back seat and your husband who has broken ribs in the front-crying out to God for strength, wisdom, and a level head. (Philippians 4:13 became real to me in those moments...)

It's easy to see the beautiful pictures of glowing fireplaces, happy, smiling families, glorious food (one of my personal favorites about all holidays--FOOD). Maybe, like me, you feel an instant sinking feeling wondering how you are going to make your own experience magical.

Let me encourage you (as I sit here reminding myself)... Keep things simple. ENJOY the simple pleasures. Don't try to go all-out (to impress others OR yourself). Learning to be content with what you have-and even thankful for what you have--even if it's not what you expected or planned. If you have a whole day to bake cookies, go for it!! If you have zero time and buy a few packages of Oreos and put them in a pretty cookie jar, hey! That's great too.

Sometimes God has plans for us that we cannot imagine or possibly plan for. But if He planned it, we can be sure they are better than anything we could hope to plan-even if it doesn't seem pleasant at the time (Jeremiah 29:11) So I would love to share with you a few simple principles the last few years have taught me.

1) Take care of your OWN immediate family first. Have you ever tried to go all-out for an extended family member or friend and realized, wow, I didn't even spend this much time or energy on my own kids? That's ok if it happens on occasion. Sometimes others need a little extra love and God lays it on our hearts to give. But it shouldn't be the norm. You don't want your kids to see you giving of yourself constantly to others while, in essence, neglecting them. Your kids were given to YOU. It is highly likely that no other human being will ever love on them the way you will. So be extravagant in your love to them. Never let them doubt or question your love for them (hint:this doesn't mean going into oodles of debt to buy them the latest and greatest 'thingy'-kids are as much impressed by a BOX than the thingy that's inside of it) Loving on them could mean driving around, spending time looking at Christmas lights. Or singing Christmas carols while washing dishes together. Being 100% present with them.

2) Don't buy unless you have the cash for it. I know this is rather a touchy subject with pretty much everyone...but have you ever purchased something and as you are getting in your car leaving the store you have this sinking feeling because you know you shouldn't have purchased that item? Imagine a year WITHOUT buyers regret. Is there any item that is worth more than your family's financial security?? Exercise discipline and save up in advanced for larger purchases (or smaller ones too) If you don't have the cash, don't buy it. Boom. I have heard it said that going into debt to buy something (instant gratification) is like negotiating a future pay cut with your boss. Would you do that? Uhhh no. But that is what is happening every time you choose to get what you want NOW instead of patiently working for it and saving up.

3) Make the most of what you have. Possibly the greatest combatant of discontent is thankfulness. (Philippians 4:11-...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content) Did you ever think to yourself, why am I so down, and, where did my joy go?? How's your thankfulness? (1 Thess. 5:18-In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you) Do you have a complaining spirit? Joy is not something we can just conjure up. It is a deep-seated internal thing that circumstances cannot shake. (Nehemiah 8:10...for the JOY of the Lord is your strength.) (Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world but be ye TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of your MIND, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.)

4) If funds are short-give the gift of time. If there is someone super special in your life (that is not in your immediate family) and you'd like to get them something incredible but only have funds for something less than incredible-get creative. Give the gift of time. Even if they live across the country or across the world. Write a beautiful handwritten note about how much this person means to you. Or perhaps you can write and reminisce about how you met-or old times spent together. Send a package of tea and plan a date/time where you can have a tea party 'together' from afar. Do a Christmas themed photo scavenger hunt together. Make a list of Christmas items (nativity scene, red Christmas lights, a huge inflatable yard snowman etc) and go around searching and taking pictures together. When you're all through, go home and have a cup of hot chocolate.

5) Not as a little add-on at the end or some cliche, but stop to remember why we even have a thing called Christmas. Jesus came to earth to be born in a humble setting for the purpose of eventually dying for our sins. Does it make Jesus happy that we have turned His coming into an overwhelming performance/stuff-based time?? What are you doing to intentionally keep Christ a part of your celebrations?? This part for me has been incredibly humbling as I have failed so often to show my kids and others I come in contact with that Christmas really is about Jesus. Last year we did an advent calendar with verses. One year we did a chocolate advent calendar (well hey, God gave us our taste buds...) We have several nativity scenes the kids can get their hands on and we talk about the different players around Christ's birth. Whatever you do, make it intentional and make it happen. If you don't tell them the real reason for Christmas, there are any number of sources to tell them what Christmas is NOT-so be persistent.

I have attached several of our photos for you all. As a behind the scenes side note-there were tears involved by all (including Momma) We were all tired and ready for some snuggles by the time picture taking was done. I love the pictures that came out, but remember-there's always more BEHIND the pictures If you've made it to the end of this long slog, I applaud you. Hopefully it was encouraging to you as the lessons learned continue to encourage and rebuke me...

Psalms 105:1 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

A two-year-old's thankful list

We all know that two-year-old logic doesn't always make sense. So when I decided to ask my two-year-old son want he was thankful for, I expected some crazy answers. He actually gave me answers that make sense, mostly.

What my two-year-old is thankful for

1. I am thankful for...faithful. (I am convinced he doesn't know what it means, even though he uses it frequently. Problem is, I don't know how to explain it to him.)
2. ‎I am thankful for Daddy.
3. ‎I am thankful for Mommy.
4. ‎I am thankful cereal. (Guess what he was eating when I asked the question.)
5. ‎I am thankful for Sister.

His list also included multiple variations of being thankful for Mommy and Daddy, including their real names.

A week or so later, I asked him the question again. Once I again, I got Mommy, Daddy and Sister, along with variations that included their real names. He also added the following:

6. I am thankful for Grandma and Grandpa.

7. I am thankful for S….. and C….. (a friend's two children).

After he was done, he asked, “What are you thankful for?”

I love this child. I am thankful for him.

Quote of the Week

Thankfulness

I really want to write a post about being thankful. I have started a few different posts about what I am thankful for. But I am quickly discovering that it is hard to capture everything I am thankful for and take for granted. No one post is sufficient.

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I figured it was time to started the obligatory list of things that I am thankful for.

Things to be thankful for
     1. A roof over my head
     2. My kids
     3. My husband

That was a far as I got before something distracted me and I quit. As I wrote that short list, I knew I was writing down the things that everyone writes down. They are the things we take for granted. But, I wanted a list that had unique things on them, things no one else would think of. But writing that kind of list would also takes lots of time, something I don't have. So I didn't bother adding any more to it.

One early morning when I should have been asleep, I was contemplating the above list. I realized that one of the big things I am thankful for is being connected. I am thankful that I have a family who cares about me, prays for me, worries about me. I am thankful that I have church where I have a name and am missed when gone.

As I have been contemplating being thankful, I have been realizing how much I take for granted. How often do I stop and say thank you for those things? The truth is, only once a year.

Shouldn't thankfulness be a daily part of life? It really should be. I have a million things to be thankful for. Maybe if I were more thankful, I would complain less. Maybe life would be a bit less stressful. Maybe, instead of complaining that my children wake me up with leg cramps and teething pain, I should be thankful that I have children who are growing normally. Instead of complaining about the things my husband does that irritate me, I should be thankful for all the small (and big) things he does to show his love and to make my life easier. (Here is where I have to express some of my thankfulness for him and brag on him a little. He is an amazing dad. I could not parent without him.)

If I am to get anything out of this post, I think it should be this - make it a goal to purposely be thankful for something everyday. I need to quit taking life for granted. I need to stop complaining and start being thankful. I shouldn't think about being thankful only once a year; it should be a normal part of daily life.

Psalms 92:1-2 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

Snow!!!

Snow. You either love it or hate it. Yell “It's snowing” in a crowded room and you can quickly divide the room. I can't think of anyone I've met who was neutral about snow.

Sunday morning, we woke up to two inches from the first snow of the season. The evening before, I posted the news to Facebook. Responses ranged from surprise and disappointment to jealousy and a request for me to send it to Texas. At my house, the responses also varied. The adults groaned and the two-year-old was excited.

When I announced the news that it had snowed, my son was excited and slightly apprehensive. While he has been talking about snow here lately, I'm not sure if he remembers it from last year. But once he saw the snow, all apprehension was gone.

His first sighting was through the dining room window while he was dating breakfast. We normally keep the blinds down because they help keep the hot and cold out in their respective seasons. But when cute little boys are excited to see snow, Mommy can't deny their request. Upon seeing the snow, he said, "Oh, snow," as if confirming what he thought it was, and continued to stared out the window while to finishing his breakfast. 

When we finally made it out the door for church, he was still enthralled with what he was seeing and wanted to know why I was cleaning off the car.

The snow has pretty much all melted now. But everyday that it was around, my son would open the door, look outside and say, “It's snowing!” even when it wasn't. I think he is going to thoroughly love winter.

1 Peter 3:4a - Verse of the Week

Two-year-old fashion sense

I let my son dress himself most days - pick out his clothes, put them on, the whole nine yards.

That boy! He wants to always wear shorts - even when I think it's too cold out. It doesn't seem to bother him. (Okay, rant over.)

Saturday, he wanted to wear one of his church suits to play in. Being two and still occasionally prone to messes, I offered him an alternative - his play suitcoat and ties, a button down shirt and a pair of pants that wouldn't clash horribly. He accepted the suitcoat, picked a tie that sort of matched his shirt, but rejected the pants. He wanted shorts, and not just any shorts. He wanted his bright blue gym shorts.! They so didn't go with his suit coat. To top it off, he wore boots - Daddy's boots. (I did persuade him to switch to his own later in the day.)

While this outfit really was quite odd, I was okay with it. I'm used to inside-out, backwards and, sometimes, upside-down clothing. But my husband had problems with it. As we were heading out, he grabbed a more visually-pleasing change of clothes for him.

While I was okay with letting my two-year-old wear such an odd outfit this time, I haven't always been. There was a day when I would help him correct his clothing mistakes because they bugged me. I had to wrestle with how his style of dress reflected on me. Let's face it, we all look down on the parent with the kid whose clothes aren't up to our sense of fashion.

As I wrestled with my son's lack of care of how his clothes look, I realized that a two-year-old getting dressed by himself is a major accomplishment.  If his shirt is inside out, it's because he hasn't mastered the art of turning it rightside out. If it is backwards, it's because he thinks the front design is supposed to go on the back. If he is wearing outrageous clothes, it means that he obeyed me when I told him to get dressed. I know that as he gets older, he will master the skills he is currently missing.

As I have been thinking about inward and outward beauty this past week, my son's sense of fashion, or total lack thereof, seems like it fits into the conversation. Why do we force our sense of fashion onto our young children who don't care about how they look? Why do we look down on parents with children who don't conform?

As they grow older, they will become aware of how they should dress and the peer pressure associated with it. I don't want to force them to conform to the pressure too soon. I want to allow them to be children, even if that means that they are wearing a suit coat and gym shorts. The days of my son's crazy outfits are limited. All too soon he will be grown. Instead of being embarrassed and changing his clothes, I choose to laugh at his combinations. Parenting is hard. I let him add some humor to my day.