Quote of the Week

Does Jesus care about the flu?

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Normally, I put up a new blog post on Wednesday mornings. But this week, we got sick. Colds and fever hit our house over the Christmas weekend. Both children are sick, though not at the same time, thankfully. And while I never got a fever (I felt like I had a low grade one once or twice.), I did get the cold, cough and body aches. We have definitely been a slow moving group.

It is so hard to see your children sick. My son had a bit of a clue what was going on. He has taken full advantage of his fever and binge-watched Thomas the Tank Engine. He didn't remember throwing up, but remembers it now. (As he was throwing up, he told me, "I'm spitting.")

My daughter isn't so lucky. She has no idea why she is hot, why her throat hurts and what that nasty stuff is that she keeps coughing/spitting up. And I know she is sick, because she is still. She is never still. She never falls asleep in my arms. She never falls asleep sitting upright. And she never refuses Mommy's milk. It really is heart breaking to see her so miserable. Thankfully, she is starting to act somewhat like her adorable, active self again thanks to her deciding to take a bottle of Pedialyte. (Apparently my breast-loving baby has decided that yummy stuff really can come from a bottle. It's a big relief for this Mama.)

As I was thinking about my sick children, I had to wonder if God hurts when His children are sick the way we hurt when our children are sick. There is an old hymn that speaks to this.

1. 
   
2. Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
   Too deeply for mirth or song,
   As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
   And the way grows weary and long?
• Refrain:
  Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
  His heart is touched with my grief;
  When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
  I know my Savior cares.

Luke 2:20 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

The Story of Christmas

This year, as I have been contemplating Christmas, I have been putting what I know of giving birth into the Christmas story. I can't imagine being in a strange town without my doctor and parents. Of course, having both of my babies in a hospital, can't imagine giving birth anywhere else. And with the cleanliness practices of the hospital, even the idea of giving birth where animals have been is appalling. Yet, this is the environment in which Mary gave birth. 

Below is the Christmas story as found in Luke 2:1-20. As you read this familiar story, try to imagine what it may have been like to be Mary. You may have to imagine a little bit between the lines. Imagine being in a strange town without your support system - doctor, family, friends. Imagine what it might have been like to wrap your newborn, not in the hospital blanket or carefully chosen baby clothes, but swaddling cloths of Mary's day. Imagine placing your newborn in an animal feed trough, not a bassinet or crib. Maybe even imagine a curious animal or two sniffing the new baby. Imagine a visit by complete strangers. Let the story come to life.

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear.

And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.”

And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

- Luke 2:1-20 ESV

Luke 2:14 - Verse of the Week

God vs. Chocolate

I love chocolate. But that may have been obvious by the name of this blog. On rough days, I eat chocolate to get by - to survive. Raising children is hard work. Small children are a lot of work. (Right now, I want to say that raising small children is harder than any other stage. But I suspect that in a few years, I will want to retract that. So I won’t officially say it.)

As I was first brainstorming this post, I was going to write a post all about how we need chocolate to survive children. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how totally wrong that philosophy is. Sure, there are calming benefits to eating chocolate. (Sometimes I think I imagine more benefit than the chocolate actually gives.) But relying on chocolate for survival is not how it should be. We should be relying on God for our survival.

With small children constantly demanding our time and attention, spending time with God can be challenging (or impossible). I find that time to myself is a premium. Spending time reading my Bible without interruption is impossible. So, slowly over time, I have quit reading my Bible.

One year in junior high, my Christian school had a drama class. One of the plays was a skit with three demons attempting to distract a christian from reading his Bible. They tried phone calls, his girlfriend and his love of his hair. But he stayed on track. Finally, they resorted to Plan B. They told him, “You have plenty of time later to read your Bible.” And after a few minutes, he put his Bible away because he thought he could do it later.

I think that has been kind of been my story as a mom. I’ll read my Bible later when I have more time. But when I do have a few moments to myself while sitting on the toilet, I check Facebook, emails or something totally unrelated to my Bible. And as time goes on, Bible reading is totally forgotten and prayer becomes scarce. Until one day, I wake up and realize the reason I am so frustrated and emotionally exhausted is because I have totally forgotten my life source. I am depending on chocolate for something that I should be depending on God for. This is not metaphor or what could happen, this is where I am living right now. It is terrible to admit, I know. But this is a constant struggle for me. Some months, I’m on a spiritual mountain top. Then I speed headlong into the valley where I forget all about the mountains. Then I reach the bottom of the valley and head back up the mountain.

I guess my main question is this - what are you depending on? If it is chocolate or (enter applicable word here), then what are you doing to reshift your focus and make God the One you rely on to survive? When I ask myself the second question, I can’t give a good answer. I want to say I’ll trust God. I’ll stop worrying. I’ll..., I’ll..., I’ll… - I’m to emotionally worn out to even attempt a good answer. Maybe my first step is to commit to listen to Christian radio again and to read my Bible once a week. It feels like a half-hearted attempt. But right now, I think it will be better than relying on chocolate for my survival.

And I may need to change the tagline for this blog. Any suggestions?

Isaiah 9:6 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

A letter to my two-year-old

My dear two-year-old,

I will miss you.

I will miss how easily you fit in my lap. I will miss your sweet snuggles. I will miss your sweet kisses, including the ones when you would only put your lips to our cheek and couldn't make the sound. I will miss your blissful innocence. I will miss your smallness. I will miss your baby-like curiosity about the world around you. I will miss the crazy, inside-out, mismatched, backwards outfits. I will miss your chubby, baby cheeks.

I will miss the essence of you as you were two.

Yes, we have had our struggles. We have had our moments where I have wanted to kill you because of how disobedient and stubborn you were being. And we had our messes, like poop all over the floor. There were days when I wanted to pull my hair out, but ate chocolate instead.

But we made it through. And for now, you ask if we can be friends.

I'm glad that your changes are happening slowly over time. I'm glad I won't lose the daily requests to watch Thomas the Tank Engine and Japanese videos on YouTube. I'm glad that you still like to snuggle, although those snuggles are changing. I'm glad you still impulsively throw your arms around my neck. I'm glad you still think I'm the best mom in the world. I'm glad you still like to play with your trains. (I'm guessing you will like doing that for several years to come.)

I am so proud of you and the boy you are becoming. You are such a good big brother. I love how you play with your sister. I appreciate how you try to make her happy and give her toys to play with. You are responsible. You ride the bus well (and gets lots of compliments for it). I appreciate how you help me do laundry. You make the task easier.

While I am sad that we are about to leave the twos behind, I am looking forward to watching you continue to grow in the threes.

I love you. I love you more than you will ever know.

Mommy

Is. 7:14 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

Guest Post: A Non-Bloggers Post on Holiday Cheer

So, I'm not a blogger. I've thought many times about starting a blog but have decided time and time again that I don't want the hassle. They are beautiful and inspirational when well done, but they take a LOT of work if done well (and I'm the type-if I do something, I want to do it WELL.)

A thank you to Rachal for allowing me to guest post on her blog-it's an honor for me to be able to share a bit of my heart with you. As a little intro, I am a stay-at-home farmer's wife, homeschooling Momma, and entrepreneur (think, as a child, I used to sell beads in our stairwell). I currently am rebuilding an Etsy shop after an extended leave (difficult pregnancy) and also do flowers for weddings and special events.

So. Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas is about a month from now. As a mother (or an adult who has even a mild affection for any human being in this world) holidays in general can be overwhelmingly stressful.

For the last three years this time of year for us has been broken bones, ER visits, and never-ending sickness. It's hard to feel merry when you're on the couch with your head in a bucket. Or holding the hurting body of a small child waiting to see a doctor in the ER. Or driving to the hospital with your sick kids in the back seat and your husband who has broken ribs in the front-crying out to God for strength, wisdom, and a level head. (Philippians 4:13 became real to me in those moments...)

It's easy to see the beautiful pictures of glowing fireplaces, happy, smiling families, glorious food (one of my personal favorites about all holidays--FOOD). Maybe, like me, you feel an instant sinking feeling wondering how you are going to make your own experience magical.

Let me encourage you (as I sit here reminding myself)... Keep things simple. ENJOY the simple pleasures. Don't try to go all-out (to impress others OR yourself). Learning to be content with what you have-and even thankful for what you have--even if it's not what you expected or planned. If you have a whole day to bake cookies, go for it!! If you have zero time and buy a few packages of Oreos and put them in a pretty cookie jar, hey! That's great too.

Sometimes God has plans for us that we cannot imagine or possibly plan for. But if He planned it, we can be sure they are better than anything we could hope to plan-even if it doesn't seem pleasant at the time (Jeremiah 29:11) So I would love to share with you a few simple principles the last few years have taught me.

1) Take care of your OWN immediate family first. Have you ever tried to go all-out for an extended family member or friend and realized, wow, I didn't even spend this much time or energy on my own kids? That's ok if it happens on occasion. Sometimes others need a little extra love and God lays it on our hearts to give. But it shouldn't be the norm. You don't want your kids to see you giving of yourself constantly to others while, in essence, neglecting them. Your kids were given to YOU. It is highly likely that no other human being will ever love on them the way you will. So be extravagant in your love to them. Never let them doubt or question your love for them (hint:this doesn't mean going into oodles of debt to buy them the latest and greatest 'thingy'-kids are as much impressed by a BOX than the thingy that's inside of it) Loving on them could mean driving around, spending time looking at Christmas lights. Or singing Christmas carols while washing dishes together. Being 100% present with them.

2) Don't buy unless you have the cash for it. I know this is rather a touchy subject with pretty much everyone...but have you ever purchased something and as you are getting in your car leaving the store you have this sinking feeling because you know you shouldn't have purchased that item? Imagine a year WITHOUT buyers regret. Is there any item that is worth more than your family's financial security?? Exercise discipline and save up in advanced for larger purchases (or smaller ones too) If you don't have the cash, don't buy it. Boom. I have heard it said that going into debt to buy something (instant gratification) is like negotiating a future pay cut with your boss. Would you do that? Uhhh no. But that is what is happening every time you choose to get what you want NOW instead of patiently working for it and saving up.

3) Make the most of what you have. Possibly the greatest combatant of discontent is thankfulness. (Philippians 4:11-...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content) Did you ever think to yourself, why am I so down, and, where did my joy go?? How's your thankfulness? (1 Thess. 5:18-In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you) Do you have a complaining spirit? Joy is not something we can just conjure up. It is a deep-seated internal thing that circumstances cannot shake. (Nehemiah 8:10...for the JOY of the Lord is your strength.) (Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world but be ye TRANSFORMED by the RENEWING of your MIND, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.)

4) If funds are short-give the gift of time. If there is someone super special in your life (that is not in your immediate family) and you'd like to get them something incredible but only have funds for something less than incredible-get creative. Give the gift of time. Even if they live across the country or across the world. Write a beautiful handwritten note about how much this person means to you. Or perhaps you can write and reminisce about how you met-or old times spent together. Send a package of tea and plan a date/time where you can have a tea party 'together' from afar. Do a Christmas themed photo scavenger hunt together. Make a list of Christmas items (nativity scene, red Christmas lights, a huge inflatable yard snowman etc) and go around searching and taking pictures together. When you're all through, go home and have a cup of hot chocolate.

5) Not as a little add-on at the end or some cliche, but stop to remember why we even have a thing called Christmas. Jesus came to earth to be born in a humble setting for the purpose of eventually dying for our sins. Does it make Jesus happy that we have turned His coming into an overwhelming performance/stuff-based time?? What are you doing to intentionally keep Christ a part of your celebrations?? This part for me has been incredibly humbling as I have failed so often to show my kids and others I come in contact with that Christmas really is about Jesus. Last year we did an advent calendar with verses. One year we did a chocolate advent calendar (well hey, God gave us our taste buds...) We have several nativity scenes the kids can get their hands on and we talk about the different players around Christ's birth. Whatever you do, make it intentional and make it happen. If you don't tell them the real reason for Christmas, there are any number of sources to tell them what Christmas is NOT-so be persistent.

I have attached several of our photos for you all. As a behind the scenes side note-there were tears involved by all (including Momma) We were all tired and ready for some snuggles by the time picture taking was done. I love the pictures that came out, but remember-there's always more BEHIND the pictures If you've made it to the end of this long slog, I applaud you. Hopefully it was encouraging to you as the lessons learned continue to encourage and rebuke me...

Psalms 105:1 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

A two-year-old's thankful list

We all know that two-year-old logic doesn't always make sense. So when I decided to ask my two-year-old son want he was thankful for, I expected some crazy answers. He actually gave me answers that make sense, mostly.

What my two-year-old is thankful for

1. I am thankful for...faithful. (I am convinced he doesn't know what it means, even though he uses it frequently. Problem is, I don't know how to explain it to him.)
2. ‎I am thankful for Daddy.
3. ‎I am thankful for Mommy.
4. ‎I am thankful cereal. (Guess what he was eating when I asked the question.)
5. ‎I am thankful for Sister.

His list also included multiple variations of being thankful for Mommy and Daddy, including their real names.

A week or so later, I asked him the question again. Once I again, I got Mommy, Daddy and Sister, along with variations that included their real names. He also added the following:

6. I am thankful for Grandma and Grandpa.

7. I am thankful for S….. and C….. (a friend's two children).

After he was done, he asked, “What are you thankful for?”

I love this child. I am thankful for him.

Quote of the Week

Thankfulness

I really want to write a post about being thankful. I have started a few different posts about what I am thankful for. But I am quickly discovering that it is hard to capture everything I am thankful for and take for granted. No one post is sufficient.

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I figured it was time to started the obligatory list of things that I am thankful for.

Things to be thankful for
     1. A roof over my head
     2. My kids
     3. My husband

That was a far as I got before something distracted me and I quit. As I wrote that short list, I knew I was writing down the things that everyone writes down. They are the things we take for granted. But, I wanted a list that had unique things on them, things no one else would think of. But writing that kind of list would also takes lots of time, something I don't have. So I didn't bother adding any more to it.

One early morning when I should have been asleep, I was contemplating the above list. I realized that one of the big things I am thankful for is being connected. I am thankful that I have a family who cares about me, prays for me, worries about me. I am thankful that I have church where I have a name and am missed when gone.

As I have been contemplating being thankful, I have been realizing how much I take for granted. How often do I stop and say thank you for those things? The truth is, only once a year.

Shouldn't thankfulness be a daily part of life? It really should be. I have a million things to be thankful for. Maybe if I were more thankful, I would complain less. Maybe life would be a bit less stressful. Maybe, instead of complaining that my children wake me up with leg cramps and teething pain, I should be thankful that I have children who are growing normally. Instead of complaining about the things my husband does that irritate me, I should be thankful for all the small (and big) things he does to show his love and to make my life easier. (Here is where I have to express some of my thankfulness for him and brag on him a little. He is an amazing dad. I could not parent without him.)

If I am to get anything out of this post, I think it should be this - make it a goal to purposely be thankful for something everyday. I need to quit taking life for granted. I need to stop complaining and start being thankful. I shouldn't think about being thankful only once a year; it should be a normal part of daily life.

Psalms 92:1-2 - Verse of the Week

Quote of the Week

Snow!!!

Snow. You either love it or hate it. Yell “It's snowing” in a crowded room and you can quickly divide the room. I can't think of anyone I've met who was neutral about snow.

Sunday morning, we woke up to two inches from the first snow of the season. The evening before, I posted the news to Facebook. Responses ranged from surprise and disappointment to jealousy and a request for me to send it to Texas. At my house, the responses also varied. The adults groaned and the two-year-old was excited.

When I announced the news that it had snowed, my son was excited and slightly apprehensive. While he has been talking about snow here lately, I'm not sure if he remembers it from last year. But once he saw the snow, all apprehension was gone.

His first sighting was through the dining room window while he was dating breakfast. We normally keep the blinds down because they help keep the hot and cold out in their respective seasons. But when cute little boys are excited to see snow, Mommy can't deny their request. Upon seeing the snow, he said, "Oh, snow," as if confirming what he thought it was, and continued to stared out the window while to finishing his breakfast. 

When we finally made it out the door for church, he was still enthralled with what he was seeing and wanted to know why I was cleaning off the car.

The snow has pretty much all melted now. But everyday that it was around, my son would open the door, look outside and say, “It's snowing!” even when it wasn't. I think he is going to thoroughly love winter.

1 Peter 3:4a - Verse of the Week

Two-year-old fashion sense

I let my son dress himself most days - pick out his clothes, put them on, the whole nine yards.

That boy! He wants to always wear shorts - even when I think it's too cold out. It doesn't seem to bother him. (Okay, rant over.)

Saturday, he wanted to wear one of his church suits to play in. Being two and still occasionally prone to messes, I offered him an alternative - his play suitcoat and ties, a button down shirt and a pair of pants that wouldn't clash horribly. He accepted the suitcoat, picked a tie that sort of matched his shirt, but rejected the pants. He wanted shorts, and not just any shorts. He wanted his bright blue gym shorts.! They so didn't go with his suit coat. To top it off, he wore boots - Daddy's boots. (I did persuade him to switch to his own later in the day.)

While this outfit really was quite odd, I was okay with it. I'm used to inside-out, backwards and, sometimes, upside-down clothing. But my husband had problems with it. As we were heading out, he grabbed a more visually-pleasing change of clothes for him.

While I was okay with letting my two-year-old wear such an odd outfit this time, I haven't always been. There was a day when I would help him correct his clothing mistakes because they bugged me. I had to wrestle with how his style of dress reflected on me. Let's face it, we all look down on the parent with the kid whose clothes aren't up to our sense of fashion.

As I wrestled with my son's lack of care of how his clothes look, I realized that a two-year-old getting dressed by himself is a major accomplishment.  If his shirt is inside out, it's because he hasn't mastered the art of turning it rightside out. If it is backwards, it's because he thinks the front design is supposed to go on the back. If he is wearing outrageous clothes, it means that he obeyed me when I told him to get dressed. I know that as he gets older, he will master the skills he is currently missing.

As I have been thinking about inward and outward beauty this past week, my son's sense of fashion, or total lack thereof, seems like it fits into the conversation. Why do we force our sense of fashion onto our young children who don't care about how they look? Why do we look down on parents with children who don't conform?

As they grow older, they will become aware of how they should dress and the peer pressure associated with it. I don't want to force them to conform to the pressure too soon. I want to allow them to be children, even if that means that they are wearing a suit coat and gym shorts. The days of my son's crazy outfits are limited. All too soon he will be grown. Instead of being embarrassed and changing his clothes, I choose to laugh at his combinations. Parenting is hard. I let him add some humor to my day.

Proverbs 31:30 - Verse of the week

Outward and Inward Beauty

The past few weeks, I have been thinking about fashion and how to step up my game. Jeans, a t-shirt or sweatshirt and polos are my go-to clothing items. Most days, I forget to wear jewelry. And rarely, do I wear make up.

But as some of my jeans are developing holes in the wrong places and I think about replacing them, I'm toying with the idea of buying nicer jeans that aren't second hand. I'm also contemplating ditching the t-shirts and sweatshirts.

As I am trying to decide what my new style should be, I find myself clinging to the types of clothes I've always wore. I purposely choose not to wear a necklace and lip color. I find myself justifying my decisions for this, that and the other reason. And it bugs me. 

Insert 1 Peter 3:1-6 into these contemplations.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

I had been thinking about this passage the past few weeks, but hadn't taken the time to look it up and read it. The other day, I was wanting to listen to the Bible as I drove and randomly selected 1 Peter 3. God knew I needed to hear the passage again.

As I have been fighting my self-proclaimed need to change my wardrobe, I have become unpleasant to live with, at least inwardly. I have been so focused on changing outwardly that I have been forgetting the beauty that is most important - the inward beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. If my inward self is ugly, there aren't any external things I can do to hide or change it. But if my inward self is beautiful in God's sight, then the outward will come naturally and compliment it.

Lord, help me to focus on You. I want to have a gentle and quiet spirit.

Out of the mouths of two-year-olds

Children say crazy things sometimes. Lately, we've had a lot of two-year-old logic. For example, he got mad at me the other day for putting him in his bed after he fell asleep at the table. But then there are days that he astonishes me with his understanding of the world around him.

Several days ago, he asked me something about Humpty Dumpty. By the end of the conversation, he had informed me that Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall because he had pushed him. Since pushing isn't allowed at our house, I don't know why he pushed Humpty Dumpty. But it did answer a question I hadn't realized I had - why did Humpty Dumpty fall down. I have asked him why Humpty Dumpty fell several times since then, but he hasn't repeated it again. I've been a little disappointed over that.

Yesterday evening, I had put his sister to bed and was getting ready for bed. Out of the blue, my son says, "Babies don't ask questions." How do you reply to that? Seriously. "That's right" seems to be the only good response to a statement like that. After repeating the same statement several times, he asked, "Do babies ask questions?" I said, "Yes." He replied, "Very good." This child makes me laugh.

Today, he once again made my jaw want to drop. He asked me, "What is Sister's favorite animal?" Uh... Since Sister is only seven months old, I haven't figured that out yet. How do you answer a question like that? After asking me for the third time, he asked her, "Do you like a cow?" He'll have to wait a year or two to get a satisfactory answer to that question. Sister needs to learn some words first.

I love this child. And saying cute things endears him to his mommy even more. There are things about the two's that I won't miss. But I will miss the crazy things he says, his sweet, high-pitched singing, his silly-sounding mispronounced words, and above all, the hugs and kisses given out a heart of pure love.

Do hard things - home maintenance edition

A few posts ago, I talked about doing hard things. Finding hard things for my son to do is easy. Finding hard things for myself has been a bit more difficult. I have goals and dreams, and their execution is a bit difficult. But in the day to day things, finding hard things to do is a bit challenging. This past weekend, I found hard things to do - several of them. And I had little to no experience with any of them.

Over the summer, I had slowly been finding leaks in our house. All these leaks came to a head on Friday when my husband stepped onto sopping wet carpet on his way to work. That meant, I had to trace the leak and fix it.

Now, my knowledge of plumbing is extremely limited. And my knowledge of fixing toilets is obsolete. But when the toilet is leaking under the wall, you learn really quickly. Thanks to YouTube and a neighbor who helped me get the water supply pipe off, I was able to fix the toilet with little to no problems. Again thanks to YouTube, and my husband, who had come home from work, I also replaced and re-plumbed the kitchen sink faucet. I went to bed that night proud of myself for doing something hard and succeeding.

The next morning, I found that the caulk in the shower had majorly failed. It was one of those leaks that had taken a couple of months to figure out why the carpet was getting wet and I stilled got the source of the water wrong. So I pulled out 80% of the caulk in the shower and re-caulked it. (FYI - pulling out old caulk takes a lot longer than you think it will.)

The last project of my do hard things weekend was to install a new light switch in our bathroom. I found this one to be the hardest. I had some minor wiring experience from when I was a teenager. (I am grateful for a jack-of-all trades father who tried to teach me basic building.) But it was cutting a hole in the wall for the new switch that got me. I was very thankful that my husband took over the project at that point. He cut a perfect hole.

As my husband and I aren't handymen, this weekend was a major accomplishment. I felt like I looked four hard projects squarely in the eyes and defeated them.

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9 ESV
http://bible.com/59/pro.16.9.ESV

Doing hard things

Monday, the members of our house plus two kid-sized house guests did hard things for lunch - we each had a food on our plate that we didn't like. Three of us made our food taste good. One was too tired to eat and finally took a much needed nap. The other didn't like how he seasoned his food and was mad that he had to eat a food he didn't like and threw a fit that landed him eating his lunch cold later that evening. Doing hard things for lunch was the first step in my attempt to train myself and my family to do hard things.

What do I mean by hard things? Hard things are tasks, projects, goals and actions that we don't want to do because they seem too difficult to do. They are things that require a lot of effort, may seem unpleasant, we may fail at or may have to do again.

My observation of myself, my generation and the generations younger than me is that we are scared to try things we may fail at. As I get older and observe more, it seems that life, especially the life of a Christian, is all about doing hard things and doing things we don't want to do. I know that I don't like to put forth effort to potentially fail. But it's in the failure that we learn.

To help retrain my way of thinking and to train my children,  I am implementing new language - at our house, we do hard things. Right now, I will be happy if we do one hard thing a week. Gradually, we will work toward doing something hard every day.

The members of our house...
     •Do hard things.

Challenge and encouragement from Family Life Today

One of my favorite radio programs is Family Life Today. They discuss the hard issues of family and life. The past two days, I have been catching up on what I have missed lately. These programs are too good not to share.

The first set of programs are a challenge to raise our children to do hard things and to finish well. The second set, originally for blended families, is a challenge to put off old, sinful practices and put on new, godly ones. The speaker also addresses anger. This message is applicable to everyone, no matter their place in life.

Spiritual Boot Camp - Aug. 16, 2017
Growing Spiritually - Aug. 17, 2017
Risk Taking - Aug. 18, 2017

Put off the old, put on the new - Aug. 21, 2017
Application for blended families - Aug. 22, 2017

Enjoying the moment

As I write this, I am on a public transit bus, headed home. Beside me is my growing and adorable baby girl. Just moments ago, she was singing her sleepy song, blowing drool with her tongue, kicking my arm and playing with her giraffe. Now she is sucking on her pacifier and giving me sleepy smiles. Oh how I love this girl.

My mommy heart will miss there days. I feel like I miss so much and don't enjoy her as I should. I know that it will go so fast. But before I get caught up in guilt, I will focus on the moments I do have, enjoy the big, toothy grins and give all the kisses I can.

The solar eclipse

I'll admit it - I was one of those people with the silly-looking glasses who was staring at the sun today. But those silly looking glasses revealed some pretty cool views of the solar eclipse.

Where we live, we were about 93% eclipsed. One of the comments I heard in our area was about how light it was for how little sun was showing. There was a definite temperature drop though. It was actually a nice change from the heat.

The solar eclipse reminded me yet again of how amazing our God is and how He made the universe in such an orchestrated way.

"When I consider the heavens, the work of Your fingers,

The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,

What is man that You are mindful of him,

And the son of man, that You visit him?

For You made him a little lower than the angels,

And You have crowned him with glory and honor."

Psalms 8:3-5 NKJV

It's been a while

It has been way to long since I posted. Between busyness, exhaustion, camp and traveling for a funeral, I gave up. I gave up on a lot of things.

Before you get scared, no, I didn't give up on life. But I did give up on projects that I have been working on the past few months. I also gave up on my house. (It's finally starting to look sorta clean.)

When I wrote the post in July about life after a mountain top experience, I didn't realize how much I would actually struggle. While I am tempted to beat myself up, I need to remember what I said in that post.

I think it may have been a quote from C.S. Lewis and Mere Christianity. As we start on our journey of total surrender to God, we take a step, maybe two, then fall down. We pick ourselves back up and we repeat the same process. After a while, we start getting along better, less falling and more walking. Finally we get to the point where we have little to no falling and lots of walking.  

Most of our lives are spent in the valleys. We need to learn to walk smoothly there. Thankful we aren't alone. God is there beside us filling us with Himself.

I'm in the get up stage. In this case, I think getting up also involves getting more sleep. It involves attempting to schedule what projects I do on certain days. And I definitely need to stress less and to, once again, make reading God's word a priority.

Rescue My Cars

From the category of things I never thought I would do comes "Rescue My Cars."

This morning, I woke up to my son fussing. It was a bit surprising, but nothing unusual. But when the fussing lasted a couple minutes, I decided to find out what was wrong. I found him laying in his bed and fumbling with his hand between himself and the side of his bed.

"Car?"

"You need me to get your car?" I asked.

He nodded.

I reached for the area that he had been fumbling around in, and began to feel for a car, presumably in the crack between mattress and bed frame. As I fumbled around, I happened to bump into him and felt the car inside his one-piece pajamas.

As I was driving the car up to the neck of his pajamas and removing it, my son said, "Car?"

I couldn't believe my ears. "You have another car in your jammies?"

He nodded.

I reach for the spot where I had found the first car. Nothing. I felt his back. Success. After safely driving that car to his neckline, I crawled in bed with him, now clearly understanding why he had been fussing.

After a moment of snuggling, my son looked at me and asked, "Thomas?"

"Are you going to put your train down your jammies too?"

He smiled mischievously and nodded.

Silly little boy. Thankfully, he didn't put Thomas the Tank Engine down his pajamas.

A well-child exam

My daughter had a well-child exam today. You know the kind - weight, height, they look healthy, they're developing on or ahead of schedule, how are they eating, how are they sleeping. I told my doctor how my daughter wakes me up two to three times a night to breast feed and that I wanted to start her on solids early. She told me to wait a little longer and to make sure I was eating healthy foods, such as lentils, vegetables, milk, peanut butter and chocolate.
I had started to suspect that maybe I wasn't eating the right foods for making good milk. Today, my doctor basically confirmed that suspicion.
So, chocolate, here I come.

Consider the lilies

Is she teething?

It appears my daughter is teething. At least that is what the massive amount of drool and extra fussiness would seem to indicate.
This teething thing is all new to me. My son would randomly have teeth appear in his mouth without any warning. Even my daughter first tooth was a surprise. I had noticed that she suddenly changed her sleep patterns two weeks prior to the tooth appearing, but I attributed it to brain growth.
Now she is chewing on her fingers or a toy, anything, almost constantly. She is twice to three times as fussy before nap and bed times. She drools like crazy and has suddenly started taking a pacifier.
Had anyone else had this experience? If so, please share your advice.

The need for chocolate continues

This is shaping up to be a chocolate kind of week. I don't know if I dare admit this - I downed almost an entire bar of chocolate before leaving work tonight. It hasn't been a terrible day. The day has actually gone rather quickly. But I'm exhausted and chocolate is my pick-me-up of choice.
Exhaustion seems to be the theme of my life lately. It seems like that's where I live most of the time. It comes from getting woken up two and three times a night to feed a baby.
It seems as if I have forgotten everything I did with son. Yet at the same time, I have chosen to do things differently this time around. So in all fairness to myself, things aren't the same. I do remember being exhausted with my son. All I know is that I will be glad when my baby starts sleeping through the night.

I need chocolate to survive

This has been a chocolate kind of day.  Of course, I guess four bars is better than the eight from yesterday. Tired seems to be my middle name and brain dead is my game.
Days like today, it seems like chocolate is the only way to survive. But everyone is still alive and has eaten. Oh and I did finish cleaning my closet. But that will have to wait, yet again, for another day.l

Continuing to walk after a mountain top experience

This past week has been a mountain top sort of week. It was a week filled with family, friends and good sermons. Another name for it would be church camp.
While reuniting with old friends, we also made some new ones. The sermons each evening were challenging. Well, I should say that what I heard of the sermons was challenging. (I had several diaper changes and feeding times during the evening sermons. I also put the baby to sleep a few times while rolling the stroller back and forth off to one side of the tabernacle.) I even gained some new insight into a few Bible stories I have been taking a fresh look at.
The week ended by my husband filling in for our pastor and preaching on giving your all to Christ. Yesterday, I felt like my relationship with God was soaring to new heights.
Then today, normal life hit. It feels like all the progress I made this past week is slipping away. (I'm very thankful we had ladies Bible study today.)
As I write this, I am reminded of something my husband said yesterday. I think it may have been a quote from C.S. Lewis and Mere Christianity. As we start on our journey of total surrender to God, we take a step, maybe two, then fall down. We pick ourselves back up and we repeat the same process. After a while, we start getting along better, less falling and more walking. Finally we get to the point where we have little to no falling and lots of walking.
I think this concept applies to mountain top experiences. When we come down into the valley, we want to give up and quit. When that happens, we need to come to God, give Him ourselves again and keep going.
Most of our lives are spent in the valleys. We need to learn to walk smoothly there. Thankful we aren't alone. God is there beside us filling us with Himself.
Please forgive me if this is incoherent. I'm trying to process and apply what I've been learning this past week to the valley life.

A reminder to quit stressing

We have been at church camp the past few days. Oh how refreshing it has been.
I have enjoyed getting away from the mundane and the routine to spend some time with fellow believers. It is a time to see friends we haven't seen for a while. It is a time to get fed spiritually and get renewed. It is also a time for God to point to areas of our lives that need adjusting. I think one area I need to work on is not stressing out. It wasn't one of those things that God hit me over the head with while I was away. He gently reminded me of it this morning when I wondered why yesterday was better than today.
I have been stressed, wondering what the future holds when I can no longer work. I need to quit stressing over it and let God handle it.

May I Please Get A Few More Hours? Or should I say, "Good night"?

Once again, it's time for bed. And once again, I haven't touched most of the things I need to do.

Why does it seem like there aren't enough hours in the days? By the time the kids are fed (multiple times over), a small fraction of the house work is done and I have a spare moment to myself, I'm exhausted and it's time for bed. I really would like a few extra hours each day to work on the projects that make me feel alive or that I hope to use to cultivate future job opportunities.

But as I am exhausted, have to wake up at 5:20 am and will get woken up a couple of times between now and morning, I'm going to bed. Good night.

True Love

It's been one of those days. As I've run out of brain power for today, let me leave you with this thought from the sermon on Sunday.

True love exists in our differences, not our similarities. - Pastor Shelby Cade

Happy Independence Day!

What is a productive day?

What determines a productive day?  An immaculately clean house?  Every item on the list checked? The yard in tip-tip shape?

Or is a productive day include wiping up spoiled milk? What about snuggling a small child who woke up from a nap screaming for reasons they can't articulate? Is it nursing your sleep-fighting baby to sleep?

Honestly, I tend to land in the first list. I want my house clean, which it rarely ever is. I want every item on the to-do list checked off. The yard - I'd like to keep all my plants alive.

And some days, like today, I get a fair amount done. I found the floor. I sometimes forget what it looks like. I feel like I had a productive day.

But sprinkled in there were the non-productive things. Snuggles. Hugs. Diaper changes. A lunch run for my husband. Nursing a baby to help her sleep. These things tend to irritate me and, depending on the day, make me feel like I haven't done anything.

If I stop and look at the long-term, those things really are more important. While a clean house is important and does make everyone feel better, it's the people in the house and the relationships that are more important.

It's not anything new. We all know it. But sometimes I need to be reminded.

Spilled cereal and poop on the floor

What a day it has been! And it's only half over.

It started this morning with cereal landing squarely in my lap. I was holding my three-month-old enjoying my breakfast. I had moved her to a standing type position and had reached for another bite. Suddenly, my once harmless cereal jumped off the table and dumped its contents all over my lap and the floor.

I sat there stunned, with a now screaming baby.
"Paper towel?" I asked my toddler. It took a few tries to get him to hand it to me. His reply was, "Make a mess." Yep, we made a mess.

Later in the morning, I went to check on my much to quiet son. When I looked in his room, he looked asleep. Then I spotted the poop on the floor. And on his foot. And on his life jacket. And on the comforter. While I don't know what actually happened, it looked like he over filled his diaper with poop. The poop came out the top and landed on the floor. He stepped in it and spread it around. Needless to say, he went straight to the shower.

I sure hope the rest of this day isn't as exciting. I have a lot of house cleaning, and laundry, to do.

Try again

I said something to my daughter today that I knew immediately was for me, not her. It was, "Try again. If you try enough times, you'll get it."

I know she didn't appreciate it. She's three months old. If she could have understood it, I doubt she would have agreed with me that tummy time is necessary to learning to roll over and sit up.

In the instant I told her to keep trying, I thought of myself. When the going gets mildly tough, I want to give up and quit. Or if there is something I want to do or learn, the temptation is to quit because I can't find the time to do it.

It's time I start applying my advice to myself. I think I have some projects to work on.

A smooth running day

It has been a zero squares of chocolate kind of day.

• Work went smoothly with no major problems.
• My toddler only had a mild tantrum when I wouldn't leave him in the Lowe's shopping cart, but insisted he come home with me. (Kids and their logic.)
• My baby has been her normal, happy self.
• And as I write this at 9:30 pm, I'm outside taking a walk. It is peaceful, in spite of the busy road next to our house.

Thank you, Lord, for the days when life runs smoothly.

I'm at the end of my rope

Lord, I'm at the end of my rope.

It's 5 p.m. What have I accomplished today? Nothing, unless finally getting a shower is something. And that was only after a 3.5 hour nap battle with my toddler.

There are dishes to be done. My 3 month old needs laundry done. I have movies waiting at the library. I need to purchase and install a new closet rod. I need to fix lunches for the next couple days that I work. How am I going to get it all done before bed?

Not to mention the more overlying pressures - the need to help bring in money to keep our family afloat. Finding a work from home job isn't easy. Finding a work from home job that doesn't require quiet is even harder.

 I'm in tears. What do I do?

Things to be thankful for today
1. My toddler didn't throw a 20 minute temper tantrum like he did yesterday when he told to get out of the water. (What's gotten into him anyway? He's not normally like this.)
2. My baby hasn't had a blowout today. Yet. (I've worn that last two days blowouts.)
3. Not all of the dishes in the house are dirty. (Just the cereal spoons.)
4. Most of the towels are still clean.
5. My daughter hasn't had blow outs in all of her clothes yet. (Wait - why are some of my sons clean clothes in the dirty laundry?)

Okay, Lord. I've vented now. I feel somewhat better. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get everything done.

I want to pull something deeply spiritual from Bible study on Ruth that the ladies at church are doing and apply it to this situation. But I can't come up with much. I'm actually not as tired as usual. But my brain is still fried. I'm not sure how weeping forward, Ruth's work ethic and Boaz's kindness apply to this situation. Maybe I need to make sure I don't become like bitter Naomi. I haven't lost anyone from my family. But there are lots of other things that I could become bitter about.

Lord, please help me not to become bitter at my husband, kids, work or situation in life. Help me to weep forward, not get stuck in the past.